In all the excitement over the past few weeks, I've sort of forgotten that it's Christmas tomorrow. I'm still thinking in terms of Days of the Week, rather than How Many Days Left Until Christmas. However, today, Wednesday, is Christmas eve.

Last night my parents and I spent a few minutes around the tree shaking gifts. I opened a gift from my sister. They are homemade earrings. Homemade from what, I do not know, but they are, uhm interesting. I must say, my initial reaction was horror, but I am developing a fondness for them. I tried them on last night, and my father said I could pull it off, and they are actually quite nice on. They are definitely a conversation piece. I think I shall wear them to church tonight. Maybe I'll take a picture of them at some point, huh?

The prospect of moving away is slowly sinking it. It comes in fits and bursts. I do feel some kind of breakdown brewing, but I think that will come when/if I do eventually leave. Over the last two years I've built a comfortable, albeit mundane and routine, life for myself. I've taken a lot of things for granted, and I know I will miss the small things, as well as the big things.

Sometimes, I get so sad about leaving everyone. Especially right now, of all times. I went out with L last night and she looked so sad, which made me sad. Not being able to just call any of you up to just hang out will be hard.

But exciting. Even though I intend to keep all my ties with everyone here, it's exciting to go somewhere where NO ONE knows me. It's not even like going to University. There, everyone in town was in the same boat. We were all outsiders. Now, I'll be the only one - trying to adapt to new surroundings, trying to meet new people.

But not only for my own needs. Part of my job, I anticipate, will be developing positive relationships with this community. With individuals, with businesses, with politicians. So, the minute I arrive, I will have to be the best version of myself. Luckily for me, I think that the best version from myself isn't that far off from the worst version of myself.

I remember that first day I arrived at Mount A. I remember being so shy, but pushing myself to try to meet people. As a sort of compromise, I wrote furiously in my journal, but I did so in the Main Entry of my residence, hoping, desperately, that someone would strike up a conversation with me. It never happened. I never really made any friends, besides the few people who lived on my wing, and their friends.

Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not entirely sure I want to make loads of new friends. In fact, I'd be happy living my daily life on my own. Working, meeting new contacts, helping people out, but at the end of the day, going home and just being by myself, or going out exploring this little town I've thrust myself into. Then again, I guess I've always been like that. I've always needed time to myself.

I don't know what my point in writing all this is. I've got so many random thoughts in my head, none of them leading to any sort of conclusion, and all overlapping. I can't make sense of anything right now, so trying to write all of it down seems to be the best plan at the moment.

All I know right now is that I'm scared, folks. I'm scared of so many things right now.

I'm so happy. I'm so excited. I'm so exhausted.

Goddamn. What it is with boys and impeccable timing? Just as I was feeling all confused and emotional, Santa's Little Helper calls, and everything just seems nicer.

I guess that's the best way to end this post. I need to enjoy these days. It's Christmas Fucking Eve. Santa is coming with lots of presents. And then there's Turkey, and Eggnog, and Rum, and Hugs, and Kisses, and Little Red Bows....

Merry Christmas Everyone.

Or, Feliz Naviblah.